On a cool moonless night
 All alone in the dark,
I was taking a walk
 By that old trailer park
When a thump and a wail
 From the shadows unseen
Lured me over the fence
 So I might intervene.

I peered under trailers
 And braved the unknown
As I searched for the source
 By the light of my phone,
But before I assumed
 There was nothing to see,
A Serial Kitten
 Came lunging at me!

I'd heard horror stories
 Of young feline spawn
And the dangers they pose
 If they're stumbled upon
Such as filling a heart
 With warm fuzzies inside
Or injecting a soul
 With a joy once denied.

So I dodged the attack,
 Then I sprang to my feet
And I jogged through the park
 Until reaching the street
Before taking a look
 To insure my retreat―
That Serial Kitten
 Was right at my feet!

I dashed home in a sweat,
 But my foe lay in wait―
A black and white shadow
 Hid by my front gate;
With needles of white
 Gleaming sharp in its jaws,
It reached out to stick me
 With splinter-sized claws.

I leaped o'er the fence
 And flew into the house,
Feeling somewhat akin
 To a terrified mouse,
And I thought I was safe,
 Until something said "Mew!"
That Serial Kitten
 Was in my house too!

All the blood in my veins
 Turned to rivers of ice
As I searched every corner
 Then searched again twice,
But the only hints found
 I was not there alone
Were some half-eaten wires
 And a dead telephone.

I was too scared to run
 Very fast or too far
When I noticed the door
 Of my den was ajar,
So I crouched 'way down low
 And crawled into the black―
Then that Serial Kitten
 Unleashed its attack!

It pounced on my back
 With incredible skill
And then ran up my spine
 Like a cold winter chill;
With no sign of mercy,
 It preyed on my fear
As it clawed at my collar
 And savaged my ear.

No power on earth
 Could have torn us apart
While the two of us fought
 For control of my heart
Until someone surrendered
 Or claimed victory―
That Serial Kitten
 Now lives here with me.