- LIFE IN THE '80s -
Life in the '80s, I recall,
 Was difficult for me;
I struggled daily with the curse
 Of having one TV.

I watched the news on CNN
 And sitcoms in their prime
Until Nintendo came along
 To occupy my time.

While Mario and Bowser fought
 The Falkland Islands fell;
I missed the launch of Sally Ride
 And SDI as well.

'Glasnost' was unknown to me
 (And 'Perestroika' too),
Yet I could save the Mushroom World
 When Koopa Troopas flew.

Then one dark day I bumped the dial
 Away from Channel 3,
And caught a glimpse of something newó
 They called it MTV.

"I don't know what I'd rather do,"
 I wailed in deep dismay,
"What should I use my TV foró
 To listen, watch, or play?"

So while Chernobyl melted down,
 I ranked as Tetris Czar
And plodded through love's battlefields
 Beside Pat Benatar.

The Police watched my every step
 While I shot Metroids dead,
And as the wall in Berlin fell
 The Zols in Hyrule fled.

But just when my TV-filled life
 Could not get more bizarre,
A friend gave me a birthday gift...
 Oh, No!  A VCR!