The TV interrupts my sleep
Much earlier than planned
And pushes me into a world
I seldom understand.

Before I glimpse the morning news
And learn what lies ahead,
I quickly flip the TV dial
And watch cartoons instead.

I eat my breakfast from a box
And slurp milk for dessert,
Then scrub my teeth with soap to keep
Stray toothpaste off my shirt.

If I could buy a car again
I'd drive myself to work...
Or not, because last time I tried
Those cops drove me berserk.

So I'll stick to the running shoes
I bought to speed my gait,
Although when I leave home on time
I still arrive quite late.

I never liked the morning rides
Stuck in revolving doors,
Or stopping elevator cars
To find forgotten floors.

Most folks I meet avert their eyes
Or asked to be excused,
While those who stay to pass the time
Seem puzzled or amused.

Most office jokes leave me perplexed;
At humor, I'm a flop,
So I just laugh when others do
And finish when they stop.

I climb the stairs to my reward
For years of blind devotion
An office door that bears my name…

…Until my next promotion.