met the Lord the other night
While warming up a pew,
And came away with soul redeemed
From altered points-of-view.
The selfish life which I once lived
With pride and self-esteem
No longer glittered in my hand
Or lured with lavish gleam.
But how could I reshape my life
Or hope to make amends
For all my years of posh repose
Amid my snobbish friends?
Then like a bolt out of the blue
The answer came to me—
I'd go into the mission field
And give up luxury.
Excitedly, I grabbed the phone
With unrestrained elation
And called a meeting at the church
To share my revelation.
When all the elders had arrived
And introductions made,
I took a breath and cleared my throat
And shared the plans I'd laid ...
"I stand before you, gentlemen,
To offer sacrifice—
My life thus far has been too lax,
But now I'll pay the price.
"What I propose you do with me
Is send me far away
To small resorts in tropic ports
Where lost souls go to play.
"I'm sure Aruba needs our help,
And Guadeloupe too,
The Virgin Isles remain untouched,
"I'll give St. Barts a shot of faith—
At least that's what I'm planning,
And save Bermuda in my shorts
(Or maybe less, if tanning).
"Oh, I can hardly wait to hear
The sermons I will preach
While seeking sinners in the surf
On some secluded beach.
"And if the tides will not allow
Baptisms in the sea,
I'll gladly use the heated pool
To set the captives free.
"I'll bless rude waiters with a smile
And compliment each dish,
And when I sign the restaurant checks
I'll draw a Christian fish.
"So please, dear brothers, hear my
And lend me your support
By sending me to serve the Lord
In every last resort."
The elders stared without a word
Like time itself had stopped;
But I could tell they were impressed
By how their jaws were dropped.
They must have sensed uncommon worth
From all the things I'd said—
Instead of sending me away
They prayed for me instead!
But sometimes while in Bible class
I feel my focus lapse,
And dream of palms and sandy shores ...
… Oh well, someday perhaps.