- ETIQUETTE -

We're meeting friends she left behind
 At some starred restaurant,
And she suspects an ambush planned
 To titter, tease, and taunt.

We've often laughed how both our pasts
 Infrequently align
Because your life beyond the tracks
 Was more refined than mine.

She shared a few insightful tips
 To help me though the night,
So side-by-side we'd overcome
 The mischief they'll incite―

"When ordering try not to pick
 A dish you can't pronounce,
And if the prices seem too high,
 Don't vocally denounce.

"If they ask you to choose the wine,
 Just say you'd rather pass,
And if you order bottled beer,
 Please pour it in a glass.

"Don't gripe how long we had to wait
 Since our request was placed,
Or ask for ketchup when it comes
 Or salt before you taste.

 "Your napkin should go in your lap,
 Not tucked into your shirt,
But if by chance a crumb should fall,
 Don't let it disconcert.

"All gas emissions are taboo,
 Also the urge to gag,
And never send the Maitre d'
 To 'fetch' a doggie bag.

"But even if their shallow hearts
 Find something to condemn,
No matter what transpires tonight,
 You'll show more class than them."