Before I even dare to start
 My vain attempt to win your heart,
I have a secret to impart
 Which may just tip the scale.

By some peculiar quirk of fate
 Or reasons I cannot equate,
I have a shocking family trait…
 Y'see, I have a tail.

I see this comes as a surprise
 By the confusion in your eyes―
But hear me out lest you surmise
 And unfair thoughts prevail.

Although my tail is quite a sight
 And keeps my clothes from fitting right,
You may enjoy a rare delight
 If you accept my tail.

Imagine swinging, if you please,
 From limb to limb among the trees
With nary but a summer breeze
 To stir the leafy veil.

So many things it can enhance,
 Like marking rhythm as we dance
Or playful tickles of romance
 Imparted by my tail.

However, I will understand
 If you desire my presence banned
And shall withdraw at your command
 To never more assail…

But if I've piqued your interest, ma'am,
 And not provoked your door to slam,
You'll have to take me as I am―
 A suitor with a tail.