Dear Pastor Bob,

Remember me? My name is Billy Glass...
 I graduated last July from Confirmation class.
I've read my Bible front to back and pray 'most every night,
 But I'm afraid to come to church—
And this is why I write.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord and don't mean to be bad—
 I'd love to fill a Sunday pew between my mom and dad,
But scripture says, as you well know, when Christians are devout,
 We are the Body of our Lord...
Which kinda creeps me out.

Oh, I don't care if Christian hearts share visions they have seen,
 But what disturbing sights are shared by colons or a spleen?
Can I ignore confessing lips or secrets they might tell?
 If someone lacks the ears to hear
Am I s'posed to yell?

How can I run on bended knee or see with darkly sight
 Or keep my left hand in the dark while scratching with my right?
I might get sick if from my mouth my heart's excesses spill,
 And plucking eyeballs that offend...
Well, that just makes me ill!

I know I must defeat my fears (believe me, I have tried)
 And be a vital organ, not a thorn in Jesus' side.
So if you have some wise advice, my Ears are open - really!
 I hope to see you soon in church.

                                                 Yours most sincerely,

                                                           ~ Billy